16 things I wish I had known when I was a new mommy!

October 12, 2011

Hello! With all the new members on The Joyful Mother Facebook page these days, I know there are a lot of new mommies looking for support and inspiration. So I thought I would write down a few things that I know now, but didn’t know then. No matter what you do as a mom, if you love your children and actively show it, making mistakes only makes you a better mamma. So let go of it having to look and be perfect. You are already PERFECT just the way you are.

If some of our seasoned mommies see something that is missing from this list..a kernel of wisdom you wish to impart on the newbies, just add your comments in the space below. Love to all ♥!

  • That my baby’s cries do not necessarily need to send me into utter anxiety. She is just trying to tell me what she needs. Calm down and listen to what she is trying to tell me.
  • I don’t need to do it all. Ask for help, include my husband and do it together.
  • Routine is great, but breaking it isn’t the end of the world.
  • Turn off the internet and rely on my intuition to figure out how to be a mommy. Ask yourself how, listen to the answers and heed them. You will only get better as a mother if you do this.
  • Don’t take comments from my mother or mother in law so seriously. Remember that this new child sparks new emotions in them that they may not know how to process.
  • Get a dog. The connection between great animals and children is priceless
  • Even if I thought I was enjoying every moment, enjoy more.  Time flies when you are having fun.
  • Stop thinking about doing it right or wrong and feel love in every moment – it is that love that will make me a wonderful mother, not what  I do or don’t do.
  • It is ok to make mistakes as a mom, forgive myself and remember to learn from them – do something different next time.
  • Collaborate with my husband from day one to consistently and consciously improve as a parent – throughout the child’s life.
  • Write down more of the wonderful, funny stuff my kids do.
  • My baby feels my energy and is supremely connected to me. Wake up and realize this! If I want my baby to be calm and harmonious, I must FIRST be that.
  • Create rituals around everything early.
  • Make choices in how I parent that make me feel proud.
  • Realize that I am more powerful, resourceful and creative than I can even begin to imagine. TRUST myself more.
  • Do not, ever compare myself with other mothers and feel bad about myself. Look to other moms as a source of inspiration and learning.

 

 

 

 

 

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8 Comments

  • Reply Ian October 14, 2011 at 1:12 am

    Get a dog? Really? I think the last thing a new parent wants to do is train a new pet, let alone clean up after one.
    I’m speaking from experience.

    • Reply Sigrid October 14, 2011 at 5:24 am

      Good perspective Ian! I think a lot of people combine the baby/dog thing because of the timing issue…someone needs to be home with both. Everyone has a different level of what is “doable” as well, you know? What is stressful for me, may not be for my sister for example (the truth..)!

  • Reply Lynn Chance October 12, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    Play is important. A home as clean and tidy as it was before he came along is NOT <3

  • Reply Hend October 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Hello!

    I’m a new mom myself. I have a 6 month old son who is so easy to take care of. And I think one of the reasons why he is, is that I trusted him.
    Becoming a mom is so hard. During the first weeks, I lost all the self-confidence I had. I didn’t know my baby, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do as a mom and everyone around me seemed to have turned into a baby specialist! At one point, I realized the only option I had was to answer my baby’s needs no matter what I could read or hear about parenting. So I fed him as much as he needed, held him in my arms as much as he needed, accepted his need to cry before falling asleep. I TRUSTED MY BABY! And it helped me a lot to trust myself as a mother. EACH BABY IS DIFFERENT AND HAS SPECIAL NEEDS. Advice help because they give you hints but your child will give you the information you need!
    oh! something else about listening to your baby : if you can’t figure out why your baby is crying just by listening to the way he cries, don’t worry! It is not because you suck as a mom; it’s because your baby doesn’t cry in different ways yet. Just wait, it comes really fast!

    • Reply Sigrid October 13, 2011 at 6:09 am

      What wonderful comments! Love what you wrote Hend about trusting your baby!! They have little internal survival mechanisms in there..they won’t let you mess up!
      And deciphering your babies cry is about both listening to the different cries and also listening to what your intuition says in THAT moment about what your baby needs. Calm down and listen. Your momma intuition has a voice (or a feeling!).

  • Reply Deanna Kearns October 12, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    You always seem to find the words to make everything make sense. Thank you for being you and sharing and spreading the Momma love!!

    • Reply Sigrid October 13, 2011 at 6:09 am

      Thank you Deanna for your unwavering support and for seeing me….

  • Reply Summer Mama October 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    I so wish I had found you & this website when my son was younger. I used to drive myself mad worrying that I was a rubbish mummy! It seemed no matter what I did it wasn’t good enough and everyone else knew better. Now he is older, I am wiser, and together we have had an amazing journey so far. Thanks for your fantastic tips x

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