Have you ever stopped and looked at how much of your life is on automatic pilot? I mean as moms, we are busy. In order for our brains to function efficiently in our busy lives, the brain looks for ways to save effort and will try to make almost any routine into a habit, because habits, being able to do something without much thought, allows our mind to amp down.
A habit is also formed when a behavior leads to a desired result. That behavior tends to be reinforced and ultimately accepted as habitual. Much of our habits are formed with conscious thought – another example of our efficient brain. But sometimes efficiency comes at a cost. Let’s take the very common example of yelling at your kids. Our brains are not able to tell the difference between a good habit or a bad habit, it is a sensory organ that’s it. When we yell at our kids what are we really searching for? What is the reward that reinforces our behavior (the yelling)? Well, most of the time our kids get scared straight, right? Bingo! The habit is reinforced because we get what we are searching for in that moment – compliance. But at what cost? We may have gotten our child to put his clothes on but we feel horrible.
When our brains go on automatic pilot, it stops fully participating in decision making and we often fail to notice things, people, circumstances that are important – we are in essence cut off from our full range of faculties as a parent!
If you look at your life right now, you will probably see a habit here or there that you have taken on in the fury of efficiency that doesn’t feel good. And those habits don’t have to be the doing kind, it can be the thinking kind too. How we habitually think is just as much of a habit as the things we do over and over again.
Do your habits support a joyful life or hold you back from one?
The good news is that habits can be changed by either ignoring them or replacing them. By finding new routines – new ways at getting to that reward, we can establish new, more supportive habits.
It is about waking up and beginning to notice your habits. It is beginning to look at that automatic loop that your brain clings to at the exclusion of all else – even common sense. As we begin to study our own responses, we can begin making small but powerful changes in our lives.
All it takes is to being the process of change with ONE habit. And I want to help YOU do just that.
In the new few weeks, I will be launching a FREE pilot project called The Happy Habit Formula. Before I offer it to moms around the world, I wanted to run the program first with a group of 30-50 moms to gather statistics and tweak the process. The program will take you through a unique process of replacing ONE habit that you feel does not serve your overall joy with one that does and MAKE IT STICK. Moms from all walks of life are invited to join, the only condition I have for participation is that you BELIEVE that change is possible. Without that belief, the program will have little to no effect and interfere with the final results of the study.
So if you are interested in participating in the FREE pilot project, you can sign up below in either the Facebook registration form or the wordpress comment box or contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. Doors for participation close on 31st of January. In addition, if you have not filled out the survey I created for the study below, please help me by filling that out now. Thanks!!!
Fill out survey here: Habits of the Modern Mom
What is the ONE habit that you are ready to change? Share below!!