Inspiration to Really Love a Child

October 10, 2011

I posted this amazing poem yesterday by the amazing SARK and what a response it got! Over 1000 people liked it or shared it and many commented on how it touched them. I read it out loud to my husband and got choked up myself. Amazing words. One of the comments came from a woman who said “lovely words, but easier said than done….”

I understand that for some of us, stepping out of our comfort zone is hard, but is it really hard to embrace these ideas or is that something we simply choose to believe, something some of us tell ourselves (intend no disrespect to the woman who made the comment – it inspired this post so thank you!!)? We all have our own unique styles of parenting for sure, also our own unique personalities. We have all met the silly mom or the goofy dad – those parents quick with a joke or a game. My father loved to play fight with my sister and I – we had so many giggles and loved every minute of it. It was during this fun moments I saw who my father really was – joy incarnate, effortlessly happy and so in love with his twin girls. We always tried to drag my mother into the play, but she would always worm away, sniffling a giggle and quick to compose herself. It just wasn’t her thing. And that was ok. But those moments of play with my dad solidified an almost spiritual bond with my father, that I never had with my mom. My sister and I were allowed to see ALL of him, not just the father, or the disciplinarian or the guide or the professional working man. We saw HIM – his essence somehow.

So, ok, maybe finding an elephant to kiss is a bit of a challenge. But there are so many easy things on this list you can do TODAY. But the very FIRST thing that I want you to do is to believe that you can. Believe that you can let go of your own “adultness”, connect to your inner child, by-pass some of your limitations (whether it is a comfort zone thing or a time limitation) and step into really loving your child today.Don’t over think it, just BE it, DO it. It is much simpler than you think.

Easy stuff on SARK’s list…

  • Find easy YES’s and say it as often as you can
  • Let them bang on pots and pans (with door closed maybe)
  • Did the crabby baby in water thing yesterday – works like a charm
  • Exuberant reading! Giggles galore…
  • See the positive in everything that happens. It is right there…look for it, expect it
  • Practice empathy and truly see them for the small humans they are
  • Remember your childhood and how important childhood really is
  • I just popped around the corner in the house this morning with a BOO and scared the PJ’s off my girl…we laughed all the way to breakfast!
  • Stop the yelling – there are better ways to maintain control. Read 3 Tips to Help You Stop Screaming at Your Kids
  • Get down on your knees, look them in the eyes and from the depths of your heart, say I Love You. And don’t expect an answer back.

Which one will you commit to doing today?

 

 

 

 

 

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8 Comments

  • Reply Susan Cox October 19, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Turn your cell phone off so they know they are the only one that you are with and your fun will not be interrupted.

    My children are 24, 20 and 3 (same dad:) ) and I will stick to these rules with all of them!

    • Reply Sigrid October 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm

      Susan…that is so true.

  • Reply Jan C. October 11, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I am the mom of 5 kids who are now 14-26 years old, and I very much wish I had embraced Sark’s parenting philosophy a bit more when I had the chance. It’s easy to feel anxious about the heavy responsibility of parenting, get tied up in chores, feel embarrassed when your little darlings act like wretches in public, and so on. But if you want to be friends with your kids when they are adults, you need to let loose a little when they are younger. The world won’t end if you do!

    I want to add something to the list, actually. Heard it on Oprah, I think. The best gift you can give your child is let your face light up with joy every time they walk into a room. If you can do that one, it softens you up so that you can do a few more from the rest of the list!

    • Reply Sigrid October 11, 2011 at 4:30 pm

      I love love love your comment Jan! Wonderful addition to the list!

  • Reply ladiebuggg888 October 11, 2011 at 2:55 am

    i soooo wish i would have read this about 12 hours ago!!! i could have used this reminder…

  • Reply Peach October 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    This is beautiful.

  • Reply Yvonne Koers October 10, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Ooooooooo, now you’ve made me cry.
    It’s all so true and real. It makes me think about my role as a mother of three (6, 5 and 2 years old). About how I fail (sometimes) at doing the right things. About the fun I have with all of them at times and how they always seem to remember the fun parts, while I keep in mind the ‘fails’ and my heart aches.
    But also, I was reminded of my dad, who passed away last year.
    Thank you for making me think about these things.
    I think most of us always try to be the best parent we can be and every reminder is helpful and needed and more than welcome.

    Lots of love,
    Yvonne

    • Reply Sigrid October 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      I loved your comment Yvonne. I think that if we think of all the things we do right more, give ourselves more high fives, parenting becomes easier. Hugs to you fellow mommy!

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