So many of my clients find themselves, much of the time, sucked into the drama of life. What does that mean? It means that they can start the day perfectly centered and on top of the world and then the slightest disruption in their environment can throw them off course. Does this sound familiar? It certainly has happened in my life. Sometimes I have felt literally controlled by the circumstances in my life. I got so tired of this – so drained of energy. Eckhart Tolle talks about this as our (the ego’s) need or urge to find ourselves and our identity in the world of form (our environment and/or our thinking). Watch this inspiring clip where he talks about just this – not reacting to content.
So in my life now I see and respond to things differently than before. Two important key concepts have helped me get here – one internally based and one externally based. The first one revolves around the realization that I don’t have to believe every one of my thoughts – a thought is a thought but it isn’t me – it doesn’t define me or my reality. I take my thinking so much less seriously now! If a thought now pleases me, I enjoy it, if it doesn’t, I let it go and choose a more pleasing thought. I have in a way removed the emotional reaction to each and every thought I have. This does so much for my demons – worry, fear and the need to control what shows up in my life. I let go and find myself in this undercurrent of joy and peace. I am no longer a prisioner of my thinking – I cannot express to you the relief I feel.
The second key concept I have begun living is the idea that I have the choice of how to respond to my external environment. As I live more and more from the first concept (I am not my thoughts) I begin having more insight over how I respond to stuff that happens in my life. I see that negative people (a few of those in my life) have less ability to drag me down with them. The key is that I conscioulsy choose not to get absorbed in the drama. Why should I soak in another person’s turmoil and make it my own? Crazy really. So now I can resist this urge and when I am faced with a negative situation I go to that grounded undercurrent of joy and peace. Here I can be happy no matter what happens in my life.
So how has this helped me in my day to day life? My parenting is the biggest improvement. Huge improvement here for me. I used to get sucked down into the temper tantrums – spinning downward with the child. In this place I would get mad and frustrated and act just as childish as the child (maybe even more). And it certainly didn’t do anything for creating security and peace for the child. Now I don’t get sucked in. I ground myself in my body (mentally of course) and choose to be calm – be patient – be security for these children. I do this also purely energetically with the little one – he is loosing it and I simple hold him and BE in this place of grounded harmony and he calms down immediately. I believe children are asking for us to be present with them in this way – it is part of what they need from us and is our challenge to give this to them. I am loving the effects in this area of my life.
So to me, the greatest challenge that we all face is to seperate from the effect of our environment (that doesn’t mean not interact with the world but not get sucked in) and truly BE ourselves for the good of our own quality of life and for the quality of our relationships. In this place I find so much creativity, clairity and beauty in each moment and hope you all can practice these concepts in your own life. These concepts are perhaps a bit diffuse for some of you so please, if you are stuck, connect with me.