I am sitting here on this cold and quiet January morning with a yummy cup of coffee and listening to beautiful Spanish guitar music…what a wonderful way of starting the day I must say. Hey! It just started snowing – how lovely….
So I woke up thinking this morning about what a lot of people may think when they read my blog and related ideas from other people. “Ok – so, yeah, its good to be happy, but so what?” I am not sure if people see the correlation between feeling good and having the life that they want. I think that as a people we (in our Western society) are pretty much only focused on end results of anything we engage in. We don’t enjoy the process of getting somewhere. Really, think about the things you do during the day – how much of it is a means to an end?
Putting “happiness” then in that kind of context makes it very much of a diffuse concept. Happiness is non-quantifiable – you can’t hunt for and “attain” happiness and you can’t buy it either…! Soon after you get that hot new car, the happy “high” has worn off and you need another “thing” to get you to that good feeling place. Happiness will never be found looking outside of yourself – that includes the accumulation of stuff or the approval of others – you will simply never find it here.
So I totally understand how hard it is for many of us to understand the elements of happiness and how one goes about first of all choosing a happy life and then putting themselves in a process of BEING happy. It like people say…”Ok, I am happy….but what is that going to GET me?”
Here are my two key tips for throwing yourself into the process of having a happy life:
- Making “happy” choices are all about making choices that you can be proud of. Try making these kind of choices all day long at the end of the day, before falling asleep feel the quality of your day – even if you were able to make only a few conscious choices that left you feeling proud -how has this left you feeling a bit more joyous and HAPPY with the quality of your day? Practice this each day and with every decision you make – big or small!
- You must also remember that each day it is necessary to do the things that fill you up with good feelings. You can make this almost ritualistic! For me organization and a tidy house is healing. Other things that fill me up with good feeling are playing with my kids, taking a walk by myself, reading, listening to music that touches me, baking. Make a list of the things that fill you up. If you find yourself feeling “unhappy” or down – simply DO something on this list and you put yourself back in the the process or the “flow” of your happy life.
If one is able to live making happy choices what one “gets” out of life is really unlimited. Someone said about my husband that “he was born under a lucky star”. Things have always worked out for him – fell in his lap more or less. I see it more like the guy is happy – naturally happy with life. It is a choice – even if it is an unconscious choice (as it is for him). When you are able to get to that place life just flows and appears effortless.
So if you find yourself wanting a happier life, wanting to feel better, but don’t find yourself in my husbands category (naturally happy) then give these two exercises I mentioned above a try – you will start to feel better – this I know. And if you do this so it becomes a habit – doing these things without thinking – then in somemonths the quality of your life will have shifted from yucksville and into the land of HAPPY….ahhhh..!