So I found myself stuck in this downwards spiral of negative, hopeless thinking last night. TV does that to me often – there is so much sorrow and mainstreamed negativity on the tube that it just sucks me of joy. So there I was going deeper and deeper into yucksville…I don’t even remember what the topic of the thinking was to be honest. But what I do remember was starting to feel doubtful and insecure in my ability to guide my thinking – I kept trying to get to a better place – kept choosing those better feeling thoughts – but the looming dark cloud of doubt “I can’t do this…” kept showing itself. My ego in all its glory. A quote from Eckart Tolle to illustrate:
“Thinking, or more precisley, identification with thinking, gives rise to and maintains the ego, which, in our Western society in particular, is out of control. It believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy. Negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, envy and jelousy, are products of the ego.”
But ok – Tolle talks a lot about joy being really only available in a place beyond thought – a place of stillness and space. I get that – I feel that. However, I have not been able to figure out how one gets there without thought. Until last night! I was lying there and thought about how crappy it was that I couldn’t just switch my thoughts – how hard it was. Then I realized – THAT is a thought as well! And when I replace “I can’t….” with “Hell yeah I CAN…..” I was reminded of my greater self and released from the prision of the ego in that moment.
So in my experiences we can never be truly freed from the ego. And nor should we want to be. We can be aware of it, manage it and use this state of “funk..” as signposts, as a indication that we are outside of our FLOW state, outside of alignement with Source, in a state of seperation from who we really are – our essence, and disconnected with our state of BLISS….just as I did last night!
Instead of relying on my circumstances or some other external “thing” in my life to change – I changed the way I was thinking. I mananged to find the “big mamma thought” that was the root of all the negative internal dialogue that was going on in my head. When I changed this, I was freed.
When you find yourself in that place of “I can’t….”, try on the “HELL YEAH I can….!” hat and see how your energy shifts and how your actions change! Key to remember – put just as much positive emotion behind the I CAN as you put negative emotion behind your I CAN’T….your “feeling state” is key here.
Much love to you……