What would you say to the YOU before kids?

May 21, 2012

So I asked my lovely fans the other day (did I tell you lately that I have the most lovely, gorgeous fans on all of Facebook? No? Well, I do!) I asked them if they could sit down and talk with your pre-mama self, the YOU before they had kids, what kind of advice would they give this newbie mom? I went on to ask; “What do you know now that you wished you had known then?” And I challenged them to sit for a minute and contemplate this and then share their pieces of wisdom with the rest of us!

Well, I got some pretty amazing, wise, funny and insightful comments and I wanted to share some of them with you:

Know your identity who you are so you will be strong, confident, and 100% there for your children.

Use all that time you have to pamper yourself and stay fit so it will be something you’ll get back to easily once you’re a mom.

I would say sit back, relax & enjoy, our little precious babes grow up in a flash. Sleepless nights turn to restful sleep, tantrums turn into compromise & conversations & eating habits change.

Now that I am a grandmother I would say, “Relax and NEVER worry about all the little things that really do not matter. Time really does fly by!”

Relax more. Don’t stress about everything & believe in yourself as you are the best parent for your kids.

Savour every moment, even the ones that test you because they don’t stay little for long. Things change every day. Oh and when you get mad, breathe and count to 10… And again if you need to.

You are about to be given a gift called “Mothers Intuition”. Listen to that and be the advocate for you child whether it is at the doctors office when they are little and sick or when they are teenagers and you know something isn’t right, and all the little times in between.

Be kind to yourself and learn from your kids how to kiss a boo boo and then move on.

Never be afraid to ask for help. Suffering is not a necessary characteristic of motherhood!

Trust your intuition. It’s right, true and valuable. Do what feels right for you, your kids will feel it too.

You are stronger then you know.

Don’t give up your career.

I can not describe how tired you will feel but more importantly I can not describe the love, joy and pride you will feel. Enjoy each stage it goes so very quick. And something my mother-in-law told me. The children will never remember if the dishes aren’t done or washings not put away but they will remember the tea parties, going for walks or playing blocks.

I would tell myself how important the birthing experience would be and I would have been more informed and birthed my sons differently.

Teach him to fall asleep on his own early on and do get the best bra possible if you want to keep your pretty breasts :) And to relax and enjoy the first month, you are allowed to just be, with him.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. There are no rules. There is no ‘right’ way. Enjoy it, every minute, for it will be gone in a flash. Relax. Ask for help. Requiring help is not a defect, nor is not knowing the answers to everything.

You don’t know pure unconditional love until you have children.

Take the time to travel…. do all the things you want to do that are easier without a child….and then just let go…. because no matter how prepared we think we are for parenthood once that child takes the first breath it’s a whole different game…. and it’s awesome!!!!

I would tell myself to practice stillness and quiet – because my very fast paced life grinded to a halt when my first daughter was born. Nursing, bonding, and playing with an infant involves lots of stillness, which I wasn’t used to.

This was such a wonderful post! I’m due next week with my first and seeing all of your posts was a great way to start my day!! Keep ’em coming, ladies :D

Just because you spend time with your children doesn’t mean that its quality time!!! spend more quality time with them and less time worry about cleaning the house!!

Start dealing with any kind of baggage from your own childhood (even if you don’t think you have any, there is probably something). Having your own child has the magical way of bringing up subconscious feelings and reactions related to your own childhood. And, you have way more time to read, reflect, talk to someone and deal with those things before baby.

Parenting discipline and limit setting is difficult, be consistent and make sure your spouse is on board with your parenting tool box. Grow in self awareness.

I had three pieces of wisdom when I was pregnant: 1) nothing lasts forever so when things seem bad, it will pass and when things are good, enjoy the moment; 2) your heart knows what you need to do; 3) your kids need you just as much when they are older, not just when they are babies.

I would not overthink everything and worry about it. What you dont know is you have the ability to care for child and provide for all of its needs. YOU GOT THIS!

Space out the kids 18 months between babies does not give you enough time to enjoy each baby.

Chill and Enjoy…not the wine, you and your kids :)

You’ll be a GREAT mom!!! :)

Pelvic floor pelvic floor! You know that weak bladder you had, well its even worse now, oh and yes its as much fun as you hoped x.

I think if I had met myself before I had my son I would have said that it’s harder than you think, you won’t get any help so don’t expect it, it’s tough, it’s thankless, you’re going to give up so much, you’re going to get PND and you’ll get no support and the people who “love” you will only set out to make it a hundred times worse BUT at the end of the day he is all yours, he is always going to be happy and love his mummy even when your day is bad, he’s wanting to learn to love, he’s wanting to be held and praised and in return he will give you the most beautiful smiles, the most peaceful hugs, the most tender and meaningful “I love you”‘s and he will make your life begin to feel like you never really lived until you had him.

♥  ♥  ♥

I want to thank all of the lovely moms that commented! Which one resonated with you? What would you add to the list? Share with your mommy friends and make sure at least one mommy-to-be that you know gets this!!









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