Think about it. An attitude is kinda sticky isn’t it? Even with our kids, when they come home in a cranky mood or your husband walking in the door drained and less than cheery after a stressful day at work, that stuff sticks right on to you!! That is what happens to all of us at one time or another. But the cool thing is that it doesn’t have to! You actually have the power of allowing it to stick to you and transform your mood or not. You are more in control of how your environment affects you than you may know.
The reality is that a positive attitude gives energy to you and to those around you and a negative attitude drains your energy and the energy of those with whom you come in contact.
It’s really not surprising that many people have a negative attitude, when you consider that negative statements are all around us. One study being quoted by Charles Thompson in his book What a Great Idea! revealed that, at home, parents utter 18 negative statements for every positive one, usually to an inquisitive child who wants to know how something works. The average is 432 negative statements per day! None of us can be unaware that negative stories in the media far outnumber the positive ones.
So we are bombarded by negativity each day. And then we bring it home and unconsciously parent from this place of negativity and stress. Not good. Ok, so some of you may start feeling bad at this point. I want you to stop. If you go down that road right now, I may loose you and what I have to say next will help you rather than make you feel even worse. Ok? So breathe and give yourself a little hug of forgiveness. We do better when we know better, right mom?
A positive attitude is about infusing your life and the space around you with positive energy. It is the energy that is contagious and has a monumental impact on people around you. Sometimes I like to play with energy and welcome in those moments of friction and discord in my home in order to see how my centered and positive energy can transform the situation. When I consciously stay grounded, centered and lovingly calm, whatever chaos is happening around me, I don’t get sucked in and my energy has a calming affect on those freaking out around me.
Not only can you impact your environment and the people in it, but by being conscious about your energy state and managing it, you can also protect yourself from crabby kids, stressed out husbands, annoying mothers, depressed friends – all of which, as I mentioned, drain you of your positive flow. It is the same process and is about staying awake and centered. I do this often in advance of going meeting people (even picking up my kids!) or going into a new environment.
I like to think about energy as a bunch of balloons. If you don’t want your balloons to fly off, you have to secure them somehow. Tie them up and attach them to something heavy. Imagine doing that same thing in your imagination. Close your eyes for a second or two and get a picture of those balloons – these balloons represent your energy – the energy that you are relating to the world with. Now tie them up and attach them to something solid. Do you feel that sense of calm, that centered feeling?
If managing your energy is a concept that is too diffuse at this point for you or if you still need help nailing this concept, then I recommend you manage your attitude by watching your words. Get conscious of the words that are coming out of your mouth and get good at stopping yourself when you are streaming out the negativity. Catch yourself, stop, breath and choose a less negative way of communicating. In Anthony Robbins bestseller, Awaken the Giant Within, he tells how he was able to lower the intensity of his anger by changing the words he used to describe his emotional state. Instead of saying he was “angry and upset,” he chose to say, “I feel myself getting a ‘bit peeved’.”
Robbins believes that our choice of words can not only lower the intensity of our negative emotions, but it can also intensify our positive emotions. For example, when someone asks how are you doing, instead of saying “all right,” say “superb.” Robbins suggests, “Notice the words you habitually use and replace them with ones that empower you.”
Taking charge of your words will not only make you feel better and more empowered, it will shift your energy and positively impact everyone around you.
Share with us your thoughts and experiences about how becoming more conscious of your energy and attitude has changed the quality of your moments!